Madonna vs. Cher

ARENA: Yankee Stadium.

CONDITIONS: Madonna has random spurts of energy that allow her to move faster than a ray of light, wears a bra with massive drills, but must get down on her knees every four minutes like a prayer; Cher can turn back time 30 seconds for each two minutes, commands a rabid Babe the pig, and can hurl hearts of stone at 80 miles per hour.

Who wins?




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